Based On The Movie

Please note: This book is NOT intended for young readers!

In fact, it should not be read by anyone under thirty (and only if they are accompanied by a parent or guardian).

“The sort of adult comedy that falls somewhere between Mike Nichols and Judd Apatow. Thumbs up.” —San Antonio ExpressNews

cover
Q: How can you tell when a producer is lying to you?
A: His lips are moving.

It’s nine months since Bobby Conlon’s wife has dumped him for a hot, young film director and he’s doing great. Okay, so he occasionally breaks into Natalie’s apartment and sobs along to her old Carole King records, but that’s only when he’s out of meds. He’s better now. One hundred percent. And to prove it, he’s throwing out that year-old Christmas tree decorated with five hundred empty Vicodin bottles and flying to Texas to work on a movie starring Ralph the Swimming Pig.

But once in Texas, Bobby realizes he’s signed onto the most dysfunctional movie ever. The director can’t direct, the pig catches pneumonia, and just when things can’t get any worse, Natalie and her boyfriend are hired to take over the movie. Suddenly, Bobby’s personal and professional lives collide, and no matter which way he turns, fresh disasters await. Still, in spite of everything, Bobby clings to the hope that a happy ending might still be possible.

This is the movie business, right?

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Praise For Based On The Movie

“Dripping with acid wit and authenticity, Based on the Movie is an outrageously funny and deeply sympathetic novel about the broken-hearted dreamers and misfits who populate the lower echelons of the filmmaking world.”

–Jonathan Tropper, author of The Book of Joe and How to Talk to a Widower

Based on the Movie is the real deal — one of the funniest and most entertaining novels I have read in a long time. Billy Taylor has written that rarest of books, one that is not only a hilarious, biting satire, but also an absorbing and emotionally satisfying work of fiction.”
–David Liss author of The Coffee Trader and The Whiskey Rebels

“In his ribald debut, Billy Taylor reveals, with real humanity, the trials and tribulations of the men and women who toil behind the scenes all day and get drunk and screw all night in the world Hollywood calls ‘below the line’ – a laugh-filled, beer-goggled tour of that perverse circle of hell known as a film set. Read this book and you’ll finally know the difference between a gaffer and a best boy.”
–Mark Haskell Smith, author of Salty and Moist

“In twenty years of filmmaking I’ve yet to meet anyone as creepily hilarious as this book’s protagonist – calculating, resentful, and as high on his own unearned critical pronouncements as he is on various prescription meds. An uncomfortably funny fit of pique.”
–Hal Hartley director of Henry Fool and Fay Grim

“In Based on the Movie, one of Hollywood’s unsung heroes sings with perfect pitch about the maddening, addictive dysfunction of the film business. It may be lonely at the top, but Billy Taylor’s pithy insight suggests that it’s pretty damned funny at the bottom.”
–Billy Frolick, writer of the film Madagascar